Wednesday, December 28, 2011

wierd is okay.

Read an interesting article the other day.

I learned a few helpful labels; ie my preference for solitary activities and for work over play may be tied to Social Anhedonia. My difficulty with close relationships and intimacy, as well as my odd social quirks could be linked to a Schizotypal personality. My distress at the inability to successfully filter out the pervasive stream of information (and my ways of coping with it) could be a touch of Cognitive disinhibition.

It's nice that "weird" is being more appreciated lately (the market value of out-of-the-box thinking helping to facilitate positive social change in work-place environments), but I'm haunted by the fact that I'm merely missing the higher IQ and a greater working memory required to pull all the odd edges together into actual viable creative power. (Heh, that itch just never seems to go away for me, even after an artistically busy and successful year.)

Random wrap-up stuffs;
I have been enjoying Bones quite a bit (yes I know, I am a bit late to jump on that bandwagon). Particularly, I love actress Emily Deschanel's portrayal of dr Temperance Brennan with a social awkwardness that boarders on Asbergers Syndrome. Then, from the more tortured end of the genius spectrum, I finally got around to watching Sylvia. Personally, I wanted more from the movie, particularly, I wanted more of Sylvia's words. So here, November Graveyard, performed by Plath herself:

The scene stands stubborn: skinflint trees
Hoard last year's leaves, won't mourn, wear sackcloth, or turn
To elegiac dryads, and dour grass
Guards the hard-hearted emerald of its grassiness
However the grandiloquent mind may scorn
Such poverty. No dead men's cries

Flower forget-me-nots between the stones
Paving this grave ground. Here's honest rot
To unpick the heart, pare bone
Free of the fictive vein. When one stark skeleton
Bulks real, all saint's tongues fall quiet:
Flies watch no reserrections in the sun.

At the essential landscape stare, stare
Till your eyes foist a vision dazzling on the wind:
Whatever lost ghosts flare
Damned, howling in their shrouds across the moor
Rave on the leash of the starving mind
Which peoples the bare room, the blank, untenanted air.
~sylvia plath

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

In Defense of Humbug. (and...THE HOBBIT!!!)

This. Yes, this. I need a little validation, now and again for the fact that December in general (and Christmas specifically) is a no fun time of year for me.

This next bit is something Malanie posted to her FB page, however she had merely stolen it from someone else who I do not know. But it's brilliant so here you go:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday practiced with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2012, but not without due respect for the calendar of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country great (not to imply that the USA is necessarily greater nor lesser than any other country) and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms :

This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/him or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. The wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

Best Regards (without prejudice)

Name withheld (Privacy Act)

Meanwhile, on a totally different subject (but helping me feel happy)... GUESS WHAT WAS JUST RELEASED!? First Trailer for The Hobbit (coming Dec '12)

Sunday, December 4, 2011

down time (and being okay with it) ((JUST KIDDING))

Yesterday, I did a test run.
I'm signed up for the local marathon next week. After a very busy summer/autumn where I fell off the training schedule, I thought I might be able to at least pull off the half marathon (it's what I did last year.) But yesterday, attempting to run even just half the distance, I found my legs and my heart were just not in it.
I shall be bowing out of the race altogether.

I've been in a bit of a slump, the past few weeks. Burnt out.

I am finding comfort in food, and drink, reading, and watching TV. In not pushing myself so hard. For just a little bit. So it makes sense that I'm off my game, physically. What I am trying to do, right now, is be okay with that. To allow myself that. A break. To not panic that this is the end of my active life. To see this as just a lull, where I catch my breath, and breath.

Yesterday, I ran a route that is one of my favorites: a beautiful hilly trek through the gorgeous scenery of Sabino Canyon. It's 7.4 miles total. Yesterday, I only got through 5 before I had to stop and walk. That was a disappointment. But... as I walked the rest of the way through the canyon, back to the parking lot... I just tried to enjoy the fresh air. The view. I was in an awesome place. Might as well enjoy it, even if not getting the workout I had hoped to get.

Down time. It's necessary. So, be okay with it.


Dec 16th Update

I did end up running the race. Told myself it would be a nice slow one, gave myself permission to stop and walk if need be. Then Katy found me a running buddy (who just happened to have finished his first Iron Man) and with his coaching and encouragement, I ended up running the race even faster than last year.
Thank you Katy!
(And Jarreau!)

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

covered by friends.

Last week I visited Portland for the Orycon Convention. It wasn't until I was boarding the plane to Portland, seeing everyone around me carrying heavy jackets that I remembered I had left my own jacket at home. (I haven't had to wear the thing since last January.)

I did have my favorite burnt orange hoodie that Mel gave me. Plus, my soft blue-grey scarf that Sandra knitted for me. Those got me warmly to Wendy's house. Then Wendy gave me the cutest lime green padded jacket you ever did see to layer over the top of all of that.

Covered by my Friends.

Last year, Katy came home from Hawaii with a sea-turtle-carved-in-bone necklace for me. That little turtle shielded me and lent me strength as I trained my body for a marathon and dealt with some emotionally difficult situations as well. Recently that necklace snagged and broke. I was quite disheartened by the loss of that little bone turtle. Was trying to collect all the beads and broken parts and piece it all together again, when, coincidentally, Mel (again) gave me a tiny silver dragon on a chain.

(Perhaps this new year will need more of the Dragon than the Turtle)

Again, covered by my Friends.

I believe in friends.

Monday, November 7, 2011

oh that feeling...

(Oh, that feeling's gone!)

love it.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

My son: just like me.

My off spring and I, we share a few quirks, a few choice personality traits. I have noticed this makes us occasionally volatile (?) together? Only every now and then. But enough.

The other morning was... 'difficult'. We had pressed each other's buttons. An emotional meltdown was in full swing and I only had a few moments before we were supposed to be in the car going to school.

So I sat him in a chair, gave him a notebook and pen, and said; "Make marks. Whatever marks you want to make." He immediately calmed down, and threw his full focus into the pen and paper. He made marks on the paper, and was ready to get in the car and go to school after a few minutes.

Of course, he made some fairly pointed marks:

But it worked. Meltdown averted. Balance regained. Ability to move on with life attained.

How did I know to put a pen and paper in his hands?
Because it is what works for me when I am on the verge of a meltdown.
I figured, it would work for my son too.

(For you entertainment, a glimpse at some recently marked pages of my own:)
247 days in

Sunday, September 4, 2011

hard working animal

I got paid an exceptional complement the other day. Someone said they were impressed with my work ethic, and that I was an animal.

The individual paying the complement went on to ponder exactly what sort of work ethic an animal hath...

As the owner of an Australian Shepherd... I know a bit about working animals.
Psycho dog is not happy unless she has some job to throw her heart and soul and energies into. Even if that job is just catching a frisbee out of the air again and again and again and again. (Though, she'd be much happier with a herd of sheep, or something.)

The thing about psycho dog... she doesn't know how to just hang out with others. At the park, when other dogs come up to say "hi, wanna play" she has no idea what to do with them and prefers to throw herself into her 'job' (ie, catching said frisbee out of the air again and again and again and again.)

Anyhow, it just got me thinking, because I have not been a very good friend lately. That impressive work ethic, me throwing myself into a quick succession of deadlines, etc... There are times when I wonder that I do that as avoidance. As coping mechanism to survive the difficulties of human interaction.

Pay this no mind. This is just post-midnight ramblings from a brain that is refusing to wind down for the day.

Anyhow... Random, but I have now cut several throats in a recent project. For your entertainment, a glimpse at the bloodshed:

Thursday, August 25, 2011

why I'm not around much right now

I'm not dead! I swear.

Though I have had a few near misses this past month.

see... I had to battle a mecha-octopod in a japanese bathhouse:
Finally was able to blow the darn thing to pieces.
THEN... I had to wade my way though a hoard of zombies in an abandoned temple:

Finally got them put to rest.
THEN... I had a traitor's throat that needed cutting:

I'm still working on that one, but almost there. Very lucky to have such a good comrade-in-arms helping me through all of this slayage.

Anyhow, aside from that mess I have also put a few new Art Nerd posts up at the Functional Nerds, wrote a post for SF Signal, was able to finagle my schedule to make it to World Con, where, incidentally... I was inducted as the newest member of the InkPunks!!!! (Hard at work on my first post there.)

So, you see, I'm not dead...yet!

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

new color for the new place.

The move is in full swing right now.

Over at my art blog, I am documenting the transitioning over of my studio space.

But that has taken a back seat the past few days to doing a bit of painting. I just barely finished putting the last layer of new color over at the new place. We now have a wonderfully colorful house to move into. In all of our previous moves, we have *talked* about painting: gotten as far as picking out color swatches, even getting little sample bottles to paint a patch on a wall here or there (which patches would just stay there indefinitely). Two years ago we got as far as painting one wall red (which I have loved immensely). But we never got any further than that.

Over the past several days we have been rolling on a variety of colors (reds, yellows, greens, blues, and a muted lavender too) though the front room, the kitchen, the hallway and both bedrooms. (the bathroom came with an acceptable color already in position.) It's a really small house, but was still a fairly brutal undertaking. I am tired, sore, filthy, and crusted with paint in spite of multiple showers and baths.

Can I tell you how happy these new colors are making me?

Yesterday, offspring looked critically at the newly painting hallway (Soothing Green Tea) and said "Our new house is so cool".

Can I tell you how happy that statement made me? (Concern over how this move would be for him has been a scratchy itch at the back of my mind.)

Meanwhile, I do still have one wall left to paint: In offspring's room, one wall is going to be a window looking out into the cosmos: Planets, galaxies, solar systems, etc.

If it turns out, I'll post photos.


June 18th update: Finally made that galaxy in offspring's room :)

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

recovery drink

recovery drink
Originally uploaded by galendara
Want to know what I have been using as my after-marathon recovery drink? Beer. Lots of it. A whole variety, but mostly leaning towards the rich and dark kinds (pictured here is a pint of Samuel Smith's Oatmeal Stout) though I did not hesitate to grab my complimentary MGD at the finish line. Mostly because I would never actually pay money to drink MGD.

Maybe it's in response to the pre-marathon regimen I was on: I had almost eliminated alcohol (as well as most sugary refined foods) from my diet. So maybe this is just me 'catching up', binge style.

But I have heard that beer is actually a better 'recovery' drink than water after vigorous exercise. So... yes. Drinking beer. As part of a carefully calculated recovery program. :P

(btw... I have signed up to do another marathon, at the end of this year. MORE BEER!!! :D)

Monday, June 6, 2011

26.2 miles. (in tweets)

{I need to make some sort of record about this race and since so much of it was tweeted in 140 characters or less over the past few days, I decided to let a few of those brief entries tell the story. It wasn't as easy to chronicle the outpouring of support that was also extended on Facebook and via text messages, but I'm just as grateful for those too. Feeling very blessed with supportive friends and family right now. Also, not gonna lie, I still feel like hamburger from the waist down. But very very happy. Thanks every one <3.}


June 4th, Saturday (day before the race.)

10:45 AM
Beach! (letting the legs relax just a bit, because tomorrow they're gonna hate me) #SDmarathon #RandRSD

3:19 PM Oops.... RT @chickennuggs: Also I don't recommend getting a sunburn the day before a marathon. #thisshitisgonnahurttomorrow

4:00 PM
good luck to you both tomorrow!

5:63 PM Okay, nerves starting to kick in... stressing over what to order for my *last* meal. #SDmarathon #RandRSD h/t @chickennuggs

7:00 PM via
You will ROCK it!!! Go, Galen, go! :D

8:25 PM
It's the big one tomorrow... crashing early. Nite nite all!

June 5th, Sunday (Day of the race)

3:47 AM
Blink blink.... let's do this.

4:46 AM
Waiting in traffic to get to the shuttle to get to the start line. #SDmarathon #RandRSD h/t @chickennuggs

5:05 AM via: good luck! We're moving slow, hopefully the rest of the am is at a faster pace.

5:21 AM via @scourger: @galendara Good luck! Have a great run.

6:30 AM via
@lessiebrown: @galendara Best of luck out there today! <3

7:41 AM via
@quickmissive: @galendara Thinking of you today - run like the wind lady!

8:03 AM via @thealkemist: @galendara Run like Hermes my friend and let the air that rushes by rejuvenate you and spur you on!

8:52 AM via @
xJane: @galendara Good luck & have fun!!

9:15 AM via @
johnremy: Found street parking a mile or 2 from @galendara's race course. bike unloaded. no clue where she is, but hoping to cheer her on by mile 18.

9:57 AM via @
johnremy: still no sign of @galendara, but for your viewing pleasure, 2 members of the England Underpants Running Brigade:

10:20 AM via @
johnremy: Found @galendara between miles 19 and 20 and going strong!

10:27 AM via @erikaholt: Guys, @galendara is currently on mile 20 of a marathon!! How awesome is that? #gogogo h/t @johnremy

10:36 AM via @johnremy: Folks, I am cheering @galendara & @chickenuggs through the arduous last 5 miles of their marathon--I will pass on any tweet cheers to them.

10:38 AM via @
cherylxxxooo: Go, @galendara, BiV sending energy for your last 5 miles!

10:41 AM via @
MagneticCrow: @johnremy @galendara @chickenuggs Pass mine on! They can do it, there is a sense of accomplishment & the admiration of their peers waiting!

10:47 AM via @
inkgorilla: @galendara @chickenuggs GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Wooooooooooooo!!!

10:47 AM via @
winnie3k: @johnremy @galendara Go, go, go! What an amazing lady! So PROUD! *hug*

10:49 AM via @
upwithgravity: @johnremy Tell @galendara & @chickenuggs that they rock and their finish is going to be sweet!

10:57 AM via @
xJane: @johnremy @galendara @chickenuggs Wooo! Go Galen!!!

11:12 AM via @
benjaminlind: @johnremy Please pass along my congrats to @galendara when she catches her breath.

11:12 AM via @
HLPitts: Go, @galendara, go! Sending thoughts of strength & endurance (& sending my admiration too)! Have a great marathon finish! @johnremy

12:06 PM via @
traciewelser: @johnremy is @galendara there yet? ::anticipation::

12:33 PM via @
johnremy: CONGRATS to @galendara and @chickenuggs!!!!

12:36 PM via @
johnremy: Here's @galendara enjoying her post-finish beverage: & family victory shot:

12:39 PM via @
erikaholt: Way to go @galendara!! #youROCKsohard

1:08 PM via @geardrops: Mad props to @galendara!! <3 #SDmarathon

1:15 PM via @
JulietteWade: @geardrops @galendara Woohoo!

1:51 PM via @
chickennuggs: @ToNiCcHiLi Here this is right after. I look like hell by the way ;-)

1:53 PM via @davisac1: @galendara Holy crap, you did it! Congratulations!!!

1:53 PM via @
inkhaven: @galendara Congratulations! Well done. :D

2:27 PM via @lessiebrown: @galendara in honor of your marathon, i'm going to sit my ass on the couch and read a book about running :P

3:02 PM via @
johnremy: Everyone who sent encouragement to @galendara & @chickennuggs, I was able to run alongside at mile 25 & shout them all. #annoyingorhelpful?

3:22 PM via @annette_dupree: @galendara I want to give you a rubdown.

3:49 PM via @thejayfaulkner: @galendara congratulations and well done! :)

8:12 PM
Eating... eating.... eating.... haven't hit bottom yet #AMHUNGRY

11:00 PM I should be asleep, but am not. Out on the beach, listening to the surf, watching the lights of San Diego. #ambreathing.

June 6th Sunday (The day after the race)

8:00 AM
GoodmorningOUCH!!! #dayafteramarathon


the end :)

Thursday, April 14, 2011

time to change

We've been in this house about 5 yrs.

Two years ago this month, I wrote this post about our house. I felt I had finally reached a peace with the place.

(A big difference from three years ago when I wrote this post, gnashing my teeth in angst at the house.)


We are going to be moving soon. It was time. It needed to happen.

Yesterday we signed papers for the new place.


I do not handle change well, so I am preparing for some rough moments as we transition. But I am also very excited for this transition; it is a *very* good move for us.


We are going to be moving from a 1200 sq ft 3 bedroom 2bath home (with a garage) to a 900 sq ft 2bdrm 1bath home. ZohmiGawds, we are going to have to downscale... all the STUFF we have!

I am *so* excited to unburden ourselves from all the STUFF.


.....But....But.... my STUDIO.....!!? Yes, I will be losing my studio.

(I wrote this 4 yrs ago when I was NOT making art, then this 3 yrs ago as I was trying to work through the artist block, then this 2 yrs ago as I finally started making myself be an artist again.)

So, I shall be boxing up a good portion of what is now my studio. It won't really effect me very much right now: the majority of my art making right now is digital: I just need a scanner and my laptop. And the majority of the *STUFF* in my studio is horded rusty stuff that I won't be using anytime soon. (Ahh, but I do love rusty stuff)

(Okay, I admit: I will miss my safe place. But this move is worth it.)


(But a DISHWASHER?! Can we live without a dishwasher? Um, yeah. Duh. :P)


So, yes. Moving. To a charming tiny old home that is in walking/biking distance to the majority of everything we do.


Change is good.

Thursday, March 31, 2011

knives and needles

"humans will continue to reshape and redefine themselves by modifying their bodies."

Little Sis just got a boob job. I'm thinking about getting her this tshirt. Also, I am contemplating getting my nipple pierced when she comes to town. Sort of a solidarity thing (BOOBS: she gets a new cup size, I get a sparkly ;). I was planning on doing it anyways (shiny!)

It has body modification back on my mind.

I was going to try and to write up some introspective piece about body modification, social acceptance, class distinction, aging, self image, hypocrisy in the various demographic groups that look down their nose at certain forms of modification while embracing others... etc etc etc...

but... my brain is not working so smoothly and I am short on time. So, in stead, an odd assortment of links on the subject.

Lori St. Leone's essay on the history of body modification (see quote at the of this post) is a MUST READ. Then follow that up with these rather extreme forms of body modifications. While you are at it, here's video footage of breast augmentation surgery and a post I wrote a while back regarding some dinner time conversations about boobs. Then over to Doves and Serpents where Heather admits to being judgmental towards people who have elective cosmetic surgery (and those who dye their hair; "Just accept yourself the way you are") and Heidi's exceptional follow-up post regarding the individual nature of how we choose to accessorize/alter our bodies to express who we are. Oh! Oh! and you MUST read this powerful poem, How To Make Love To A Trans Person! ("[bodies are] just oddly-shaped vessels for hearts." I love that.) On a different note, I love how prostheses are getting a make-over and becoming fashion statements (and... Aimee Mullins... /SWOON!)

But one last thing I wanted to note... these things really aren't just a matter of personal decision making. Every one of them is a luxury that requires expendable income. My nipple piercing will cost considerably less than little sister's implants, but still no free lunch.
It's another factor in how we express our individuality; what we do with our expendable income (assuming you happen to be part of that small global minority that happens to have an expendable income.)

Anyhow, for your entertainment, I leave you with Amanda Palmer's Map of Tasmania, because self expression through pubic hair freedom must never be underestimated!


Monday, March 21, 2011

Hills and Mountains

(also posted at The Exponent)

The other morning I ran up Tumamoc hill. First time I've ever been able to run up the whole thing: It's short, 1.5 miles to the top for a quick 3 mile round trip; but brutal steep: you climb up 730 ft in that 1.5 miles. I've jogged parts of it before but always had to stop and walk those last few switchbacks. This was was an invigorating first for me and Tumamoc.

I like my hills all in one gulp, straight up, the condensed version. There are plenty of trails and roads where I can get nice rolling, gentle-up-gentle-down routes depending on my hiking, running and biking needs. But I really find myself attracted to the intense all or nothing versions: Tumamoc, Blacketts Ridge, Saguaro National Monument, Mt Lemmon highway, Josephine Saddle (or, when I have the whole day, continuing on from Josephine Saddle up to the peak of Mt Wrightson). Etc.

I love hills and mountains. I broke my belief system wide open on these hills and mountains. It's no wonder to me that many religions hold journeys to mountains for spiritual enlightenment as part of their mythos. I've queried and cursed and argued with God on these hills and mountains. Halfway up Mt Wrightson, muscles shaking and drenched in sweat, I broke with God and offered some of my first prayers to the Goddess (a terrifying step for one raised on stories of women excommunicated for such blasphemy). Eventually, I broke with divinities all together and these hills and mountains became the place for just processing whatever needs processing in my life.

It is amazing the ideas and possibilities that open up to a heart pumping faster and a mind flooded with endorphins. (I have to be careful, I have shot off dangerous emails while still high on a good hill.)

It is something I believe in: blood and body fluids. In heart and mind. In always looking for new ideas, new paths, new heights to reach.

And hills and mountains,
I believe in hills and mountains.


Now, In a similar vein, you must go and read xJane's exquisite posts Worship and Creation, and ALSO Sandra Wickham's Functional Nerds post Brains need Brawn, and ALSO mfranti's post Paradox.

Not a Tucson mountain, but still love to climb it: Mt Timpanogos in Ut.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

created to please

[finally got around to writing this post.]

[Posted at The Exponent]

I read two fascinating novels this past month, both of them very different (The Fox Woman set in an ancient magical Japan and The Windup Girl set in a future dystopian Thailand) but they had a similar refrain in one aspect: they both contained female characters that had been constructed to please men.

In "The Fox Woman" Kitsune is a young fox who falls in love with a man, so she creates magic that will turn her into the woman she thinks he wants. (Which, apparently, is a girl barely into puberty.) In "The Windup girl" Emiko is a manufactured new person, created by geneticists to be a pleasing companion to men. (Later in the book, a scientist muses if Labrador genes were spliced into her DNA, imbuing her with an extraordinary urge to obey.)

It has me mining my own map of social gender relations. For a long time, I wasn't sure who I was, because all my effort went into being what others wanted me to be. And by "others" I mean mostly men. A long string of male authority figures, church leaders, bosses, family members, and peers who I was desperately trying to please. (I find myself wondering about how few female role models I had.)

It's embarrassing to write this. But admitting it is the first step, right?

I understood Kitsune's need for love, the hope that the illusion of beauty would win that love.

I understood Emiko's internal schisms when her training and genetic engineering cause her to be 'pleasing' in the face of insult, to accept humiliation and abuse.

It got me thinking.
And remembering creation stories that have woman being created out of a piece of man's bone so that he'd have a nice pleasing companion.

BTW, both Kitsune and Emiko had to go through excruciating, brutal (and bloody) transitions as part of their journey from 'created object' to self-hood. (Why must these things hurt so much?)

[An interesting aside; a friend of mine read this and made the observation that both of these books are examples of Westerners portraying Asian women as subservient. Different topic, but something to think about.]

On the flip side, I just started My Horizontal Life; a collection of one-night stands (a birthday gift from my sister). And wow: Author Chelsea Handler is a woman who knows what she wants, how to get it, and has no qualms about immediately jettisoning the offending party if it becomes apparent that he is NOT what she wants. (I am enjoying this book with a mix of admiration and horror.)

Furthermore; I may pull out my old copies of Chicks in Chainmail, Parable of the Sower, Dealing with Dragons, etc, for more stories of women who know what they want, how to get it, with no striving to please or pining for approval.

But meanwhile,

~any thoughts on the problems/solutions/complications of seeking for approval?
~read any good books lately?

Sunday, February 27, 2011

looking back: coincidental beginings in March 2009

Last month, I stumbled upon the sketchbook I purchased back in March of 2009 to start drawing again.

Shortly after purchasing that sketchbook, I noted about how sore my unused art muscles were from all the drawing.


This past weekened I ran my second half-marathon (part of preparing for my first full length marathon) and remembered a doodle I did for inspiration back when I just starting to run again; come to find out that was back in March of '09 as well.


I like coincidences, so I had to make a note of this convergence. It's satisfying to feel the different muscles flex, muscles that I did not have back in the spring of '09; down my torso and legs, through the pathways of my creative hand & eye tissues.


I do have muscle soreness: hamstrings and knees that groan and complain after long runs, occasional "I'm-not-good-enough" spasms as I draw. I take these as givens in both fields. These aches and pains are more pleasing to me than the dull safe void of not trying at all.


That is all.

Friday, February 18, 2011

two posts I want to write when I have time...

One: Because I just finished reading The Fox Woman and also The Wind Up Girl, two radically different (and highly satisfactory) books that both, in their own ways, touched upon the theme of women created to please men... It's something I wanted to process a bit, but haven't had the time yet. (Really, you MUST read these books, both of them brilliant.)
[March update: finally got around to writing this one.]

Two: Because as part of training for this marathon I am revisiting many of the hills and mountains that I used a few years ago when preparing to hike the Grand Canyon rim to rim, and remembering what role they played in my own spiritual journey, and the almost universal role that mountains seem to play in spiritual journeys across cultures.


But first, before I write those posts, I REALLY must finish these panels for Traitors and Tyrants (coming soon in Monsters and Mormons) and work on illustrations for 20spec and inSitu, (etc). PLUS... I just registered to attend the Word Fantasy Convention and I want to create a body of new paintings to submit to the Juried Art show there. (wow, it's been forever since I did submitted stuff to a juried show, both excited and nervous.)

Anyhow... eventually I'll get around to writing those two posts. Just got to get some other stuff done first.

Friday, January 21, 2011

writing and drawing

21 of 365, originally uploaded by galendara.

an experiment...

At the beginning of this year I changed how I used this book. I stopped doing individual little drawings tucked into available space and began instead to turn these pages into work-in-progress art pieces.

And when that happened, I found I stopped writing on them.

But the fact remains that I very much depend upon these pages to be a place where I can write it all out too.

So I'm going to try writing the things I need to write on the pieces of the tracing paper I keep a stashed in the little pouch at the back of the book, [[i love you moleskin]] and then folding and gluing them into the pages here.

To become part of the larger piece of the whole page while remaining accessible for when my need to go back and obsess crops up.

We'll see.
Next month, I may totally change it up again.

Monday, January 10, 2011


A national moment of silence this morning.

I was in my car driving, but was able to pull over onto a side street, park the car and just breath for a moment. In solidarity with thousands of others across the nation.

I was driving because I was coming from breakfast with my mother. She and I are on opposite sides of the political spectrum. One of the things we talked about during breakfast was whether or not to talk about certain differences of opinion. I happen to value the ability to be silent on certain subjects during family gatherings.

On Sunday I went and sat in silence with the local Friends meeting. It was a very healing thing to do.

I haven't wanted to open social media the past few days. An desire to avoid... I'm not sure what I want to avoid... but I am avoiding, that's for sure. (Ironically, I have made brief updates myself; so I haven't been silent; I have just wanted to avoid seeing/hearing/reading.)

Anyhow, just a few things I wanted to write down this morning.
(Part of breaking my own silence.)