(sob....) this post is tearing my heart out!
Okay, now you know how twisted I am, that is not a post about suffering and trauma at home or around the world... just about biking to work.
The thing is... I HATE MY !@#$*! SUB-PRIME MONEY SUCKING BRAND SPANKING NEW COOKIE CUTTER ISOLATED SUBURBAN TRACT HOME!!!! (sorry for the cheesy explico-symbol gibberish... I still can't quite bring myself to swear in front of everyone)
That is so selfish... I know. Millions of homeless around the world, and I'm complaining about the luxury that is laid at my feet.
But it's the truth.
What I really long for is some tiny apt in town closer to... well, everything that I currently spend hours and hours each week driving to. I REALLY REALLY want to put my Little Buddy in our bike wagon and go to the grocery store or the library or the book store or the pool... but to do so I'd have to ride at least 8 miles away on roads with no bike lane whatsoever where traffic whizzes by at up to 50 mph.
I love my bike. And I love using it to go grocery shopping etc... The first couple months of our marriage we didn't have a car, biking and busing is how we got to work and did shopping, went on dates, etc... and I loved it. That worked so much easier in tiny Provo as opposed to sprawling Tucson, but even Tucson would be fine if we didn't live out in what used to be just desert, and is now just desert with an island of suburbia profanely plunked in the middle.
But my pathetic whining isn't going to change anything. We are here, we signed on the dotted line. And we can't move, the house dropped in value the instant we bought it. So we are here... gotta make the most of it. There is plenty I can do, I'm going to drive less, consolidate errands (NO!! That does not mean I'll wander over to the super Walmart they put up 10 miles down the road. I will just map out my stops better), drag out the time between errand running, plant another tree... something!
I shouldn't post this, it is too embarrassing, our stupidity, and my pampered whining about it. I just read Chandelle's brilliant post on health care and being unable to go to the doctor because they can't afford it even though they think their son's leg might be broken, and I sit here in my three bedroom home (with a mortgage that we are currently able to pay) with two (now heavily necessary) cars out front, and somehow feel justified at complaining that I have to drive my car. Poor me!
I shouldn't post this... but I'm going to. Maybe I'll delete it later. Maybe tomorrow (today) after I am finally able to shake the insomnia and get to sleep I'll re-read this and delete delete delete...