Monday, February 15, 2010

dirty sex

[Warning, this post contains disturbing content. Read at your discretion.]

"if God was a city planner he would NOT
put a playground next to a sewage system!!"

Perhaps you've heard about how NH State Rep. Nancy Elliott went off in graphic and explicit detail about homosexual sex? "We're talking about taking the penis of one man and putting it in the rectum of another man and wriggling it around in excrement." And wow.

Maybe she was revealing a closet coprophilia fetish? Maybe she just has no tact.

Or maybe she's never had sex, because, as a friend of mine pointed out; "
Straight vaginal sex is about taking the penis of one man, the organ he urinates with and sticking it into the vagina of a woman and "wriggling" it around in mucous, menstrual blood, and vaginal discharge."

Possibly mrs Elliot has some sort of idea that good "clean" monogamous heterosexual between-husband-and-wife sex is like exchanging love notes but while wearing pj's? (Thinking here of countless blushing virginal brides shocked to find themselves lying in pools of bloody semen after having their cherry popped.) (Also thinking about our seven yr old neighbor kid who insisted he wanted to know how babies got inside mommies. His dad answered the question with tact and efficiency. Son's response: "...........EEEWWWWWWW!!!!! You've DONE that??!!! GROOSSSSSSSS!!!!")

It is kinda gross, huh?
Our BODIES are kinda gross, huh? All of our various body cavities and body fluids and ins and outs, and what goes in and what comes out....

Get a clue, Nancy Elliot.

Anyhooo... for you entertainment (be warned, these are not for the faint-of heart or R-rated averse individual):
A Dark and disturbing horror story about shit, love, and divinity
Another mind-boggling Sci-fi story about human + alien sex. (Yah.)
Finally, the hilarious butt-sex-misunderstanding scene in the 40 yr old Virgin (what would YOU think if someone said they was gonna put their bike in your trunk?) (And cuz homosexuals aren't the only ones who have anal sex. Duh.)

Well, that's all for now.
Happy [late] valentines day :)

(oh, and btw... I ♡ sex. Woohooo for makin' whoopee!!! Gay, Straight, or Whatever!)

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Our Dysfunctional Heavenly Family...

Jessawhy just put up a great post at The Exponent (thoughts about an absentee Mother in Heaven) and it got me thinking about our concept of a Heavenly Family, the one with all powerful, all loving divine Heavenly Parents.

(the following is expanded from my comments on that thread, which I probably should not have made there anyways.)

I realized, that if you took out the All Powerful and/or All Loving parts then the Divine Parentage analogy makes more sense (taken in the context of the horrific human wreckage that occurs every day on this earth).

One actually could view this world as the offspring of a couple of abusive, inconsistent, conditionally-loving, favoritism-playing parents.

Or even just normal run-of-the-mill-good-intentioned-but-fallible parents. Parents who are like us. Who make mistakes and don’t always have the answers and some days just don’t have the energy or the patience. Who maybe do things with the best of intentions only to find that what they did has horribly tragic consequences. And sometimes horrible things happen for no reason at all and they are unable to do anything about it, helpless to help, helpless to save, only able to weep in anguish at it all. (Or perhaps shutting their eyes so they don't have to witness the damage.)

Maybe we don’t hear about Heavenly Mom because she LEFT Heavenly Dad. Maybe they had a nasty divorce with a really bad custody battle and right now we’re on Dad’s weekend visit. That would make much more sense to me regarding the silence about Heavenly Mother:

Us: “Dad, tell us about Mom

Dad: [on a good day] “Mom is… doing something important… somewhere else… don't worry about it…” [or on a bad day] “Shut up kid

Maybe things just got outta hand, more kids seemed like a good idea at the time but now they realize that they just don't have a handle on things, stuff is out of their control, falling between the cracks (they are probably doing a good bit of arguing about it to each other behind the scenes, blame enough to go around with left-overs)

...Yah... like you are going to hear THIS preached over the pulpit anywhere.

The thing is, this explanation/analogy of a Parent God certainly might shed some light on the current state of the planet. BUT, there is nothing in this view to inspire any sort of devotion or adoration or emulation etc etc etc. Even going to that bit about well-meaning but helpless divine parents, who sincerely love their children, whose hearts break for all the grief down here... It is an image that inspires pity, but not devotion. (Would you offer up pleading prayers to a loving but helpless god?)

That's about the conclusion I came to a while back. The next inevitable phase was to realize I just didn't believe in God.

Back on that exponent thread, m&m expressed a bit of horror at my view, which is understandable. This is a pretty bleak picture I just painted of our Heavenly Family. But even laying aside all that bleakness, I frequently hear sentiments of sadness and horror about the belief that there is no god, that there is no hope or consolation or meaning to life without God, about being unable to process all the sadness without God. I am actually working on a post (have been for a while) about finding meaning, finding purpose, finding joy in a Godless world.

Eventually I'll get it finished and posted.

Eventually. :)

(Once again, sorry Jessawhy, for threadjacking your post. Thanks for being you.)

Friday, February 5, 2010


I think I ogled today.
At Subway, getting a six inch veggie on wheat, there was a problem with the cash register and the manager had to be called up to the front to fix it... and I kid you not, "call in the big guns" was furreals. I hope I wasn't obvious. I'm quiet and non-obtrusive by nature, but found I was having a hard time focusing on the transaction, instead just trying to fathom the diameter of those biceps.

And then feeling slightly ashamed about the snarky way I have rolled my eyes at male counterparts caught "looking" at some superb specimen of female physique.
(Actually, I find I ogle superb specimen's of female physique too.)

Muscle bound is not my type.
But it was interesting to find myself in a situation where I was disinclined to look away from some guys' arms.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

332 days left (and trying not to be a bitch about it)

I'm on edge lately.
It started out as ambition; a challenging set of goals for this new year. Things to accomplish, things that stretch me. But I'm only on day 33 and mostly I just feel sharp and tense towards my husband and son, and distant from my friends as I try to squeeze it all in.

Perhaps I just haven't found the grove yet (the right balance, the right schedule).
Perhaps it's just a phase (even without ambitious goals I can be sharp and distant).

I keep thinking of 50's era advice to housewives
Also about that article that showed that women are more powerful but less happy than they once were.

But whatever.
I just had to write this down, get it off my mind. Don't have the energy to ponder deeply and come up with something profound.
Time to hit the books again (because for one of my goals I'm taking a few online courses in computer programing. Working through pseudocode and flowcharts right now.)