Friday, March 7, 2008
I take a lot of pictures, sometimes over a hundred a day. Many different things catch my eye and imagination,
the street while driving, flowers, my son, dirty dishes, lots and lots of things. but I have to admit a bit of an obsession with also taking pictures of myself. A LOT of them. But I never do anything with them, I keep them hidden on the hard-drive. It is rather embarrassing to admit that I do this, kind of like saying 'yea, I think I am SO cool'; edging up to that vague line between self-confidence and self-absorption. It got worse when we got the digital camera, I can now instantly see if the angle was good, if it masked my awkward chin and thin pinched lips, if it brought out my eyes, and made my narrow forehead look not so ungraceful... basically, does the picture make me look pretty? Click Click Click Click... do I look better now? And photoshop... oh photoshop! Adjusting colors and lighting and adding filters to 'enhance the image'. Make myself so very pretty.
I wish I didn't spend so much time wishing i was prettier. But then, I also spend a lot of time wishing I was smarter, funnier, stronger, faster, and better at math and spelling too... I bet I spend just as much time wishing I had eidetic memory, or was a competitive triathlete, or a witty improv comedian as I do wishing my jaw line was a little more graceful. Sigh... it is still all about me... I think a good thing to work for would be to spend less time thinking about ME... and instead thinking about some of the so many things in this world that could use a little of my energy. Like poverty, the environment, and at risk children, just to name a few.
Just a few thoughts I have had lately.