Monday, February 15, 2010

dirty sex

[Warning, this post contains disturbing content. Read at your discretion.]

"if God was a city planner he would NOT
put a playground next to a sewage system!!"

Perhaps you've heard about how NH State Rep. Nancy Elliott went off in graphic and explicit detail about homosexual sex? "We're talking about taking the penis of one man and putting it in the rectum of another man and wriggling it around in excrement." And wow.

Maybe she was revealing a closet coprophilia fetish? Maybe she just has no tact.

Or maybe she's never had sex, because, as a friend of mine pointed out; "
Straight vaginal sex is about taking the penis of one man, the organ he urinates with and sticking it into the vagina of a woman and "wriggling" it around in mucous, menstrual blood, and vaginal discharge."

Possibly mrs Elliot has some sort of idea that good "clean" monogamous heterosexual between-husband-and-wife sex is like exchanging love notes but while wearing pj's? (Thinking here of countless blushing virginal brides shocked to find themselves lying in pools of bloody semen after having their cherry popped.) (Also thinking about our seven yr old neighbor kid who insisted he wanted to know how babies got inside mommies. His dad answered the question with tact and efficiency. Son's response: "...........EEEWWWWWWW!!!!! You've DONE that??!!! GROOSSSSSSSS!!!!")

It is kinda gross, huh?
Our BODIES are kinda gross, huh? All of our various body cavities and body fluids and ins and outs, and what goes in and what comes out....

Get a clue, Nancy Elliot.

Anyhooo... for you entertainment (be warned, these are not for the faint-of heart or R-rated averse individual):
A Dark and disturbing horror story about shit, love, and divinity
Another mind-boggling Sci-fi story about human + alien sex. (Yah.)
Finally, the hilarious butt-sex-misunderstanding scene in the 40 yr old Virgin (what would YOU think if someone said they was gonna put their bike in your trunk?) (And cuz homosexuals aren't the only ones who have anal sex. Duh.)

Well, that's all for now.
Happy [late] valentines day :)

(oh, and btw... I ♡ sex. Woohooo for makin' whoopee!!! Gay, Straight, or Whatever!)


JohnR said...

First of all, some basic anatomy: fecal matter only passes through the rectum. She makes it sound like there's a pot of it stored there.

Secondly, when my son was born, he had already passed his first stool into the amniotic fluid (into which infants also routinely pass urine). If we go by Nancy Elliott's standards, giving birth is an impure practice.

So I'm with you, G. Our bodies are gloriously gross and grossly glorious.

Also, if I rearrange the letters of my word verification for this comment, I get "shit jeer."

Stella said...

Sex is GOOD. I'm so glad I finally realized that and started having some. And having it with various people (I figure I can be candid here) has been one of the best educations I've ever had. I wish religion would encourage that more.

G said...

stella, YES! and speaking of, here's an interesting article about the need for religions to address sexuality positively with their congregations.

Ginger said...

i love sex as well especially since i have someone to share it with. :)

makes me sad when people have had sad experiences.

vagina monologues is an interesting book/play. this author really brings out the greatness.

G said...

@ginger~ ah! I have yet to hear/see vagina monologues! but have heard it is quite intriguing. I will be checking it out. THanks :)

EmilyCC said...

I think this is my favorite V-day post, G!

The article about teaching Church leaders how to handle sexuality positively was such a good one.

Chandelle said...

I was bothered by that video on so many levels, not the least of which was her complete ignorance about the popularity of anal sex amongst straight couples. Perhaps God would not allow the "one-flesh union" to be sullied by excrement in the heterosexual rectum.

And, having observed a fair amount of anal sex via porn, I don't think it's really "wriggling" so much as "deliberate, ecstatic thrusting." Maybe she can't appreciate the difference.

Sex is gross. There's so much they don't show on T.V., like all the cleanup required. Or how it's good for women to urinate afterward to prevent UTIs. Seriously! Every time I see a sex scene in movies where the couple does NOT get up and head for the bathroom to recap the experience while using yards of TP, I know we really cannot expect the entertainment industry to properly educate our kids about sex.

Sex is gross, but oh. Yes.

Lessie said...

"Every time I see a sex scene in movies where the couple does NOT get up and head for the bathroom to recap the experience while using yards of TP..."

Chandelle, have I told you lately that I love you? ;) You rock!

Great post, G. And have I told you lately that I love you too? ;)

angryyoungwoman said...

Weird that anyone would think vaginal sex is any cleaner than anal sex. I'm constantly amazed at what's coming forth from there.

Who would expect sex to be clean, anyway? The fun of it is getting all sweaty and wet and having your hairy parts get all tangled together. Mmmm . . . Ecstasy.

Chris said...

You make an excellent point. Thanks for for posting this!

Stella said...

More posts on sex please. Thank you.

G said...

@stella~ heheh. Well, if you'd like, I did a simpler version of this same post here. Less words + one of my more graphic drawings. (view at your discretion. of course :)

Erstwild said...

Chandelle: Yes, my wife was disappointed about the whole bodily fluids clean up thing. You're right, for it does NOT come up in movies or most books.

Strangely, I told my daughter about the basics of sex when she was 8. She was not grossed out by it, but she was a little nervous about child birth:"That area seems so small!"

What that politician said was an over the top summation. And, there are straight couples who do it that way.

-Mike H.