Recently I going through an older journal of mine, revisiting back to when I was working through my belief system trying to find a place to construct a divine female role... and I found this page, Aug 6 2006. It brought a smile to my face.One of the quotes on it was copied from this interesting website I had stumbled upon called Mind On Fire. It would still be several months before I discovered the bloggernacle and began forming friendships, and almost two years before I would meet any of these friends in the flesh.
Anyhoo... just feeling nostalgic and grateful and so very blessed to have found the people I have. Thank you friends. You've saved my life.
(I think the majority of my journal is filled with quotes from other people. You should know that quite a few of you grace the pages of the Book of G.)
16 comments:
G...I am so so so envious that you can maintain a journal. I cannot. Blogging serves as the closest thing to a journal I have ever managed. The reason I cannot maintain a physical journal is because I'm so obsessive-compulsive about neatness. I'm the sort of person who rewrites and rewrites and rewrites notes taken in class, letters, even shopping lists, because I want it to look perfect. Even though I adore the chaotic mixed media look of journals like yours, I just don't have it in me to do something like that. So I love it when you share your book! And I'm with you that I don't know where I'd be without you guys, even if we're so far apart.
thanks chandelle :)
I wondered, when I started this blog, if it would take the place of my journal. But I have found that I need a place to be privately chaotic, to just spill it all out in a jumble that only I can really follow.
Then when I write a blog post I rewrite rewrite rewrite (heh... only to still find that it is just a jumble!)
so, you love my chaotic book... I love your ability to string words together in such a provocative compelling well structured and readable manner. there, even steven. heh heh!
(love you, babe)
Like Chandelle, I greatly admire those who keep journals, especially creative and artistic ones like yours. Handwriting is not one of my strenghths, which is why I stick to the computer or my camera. My scrapbooks are the photographic journal of my life and my daughters and grandchildren love to pour over them for hours on end. My blog has provided an opportunity to share some of my thoughts and memories. Writing does not come naturally to me and I also suffer from "rewrite syndrome".
(The dollar amount at the end of my posts is the amount of money that I pick up while out running. There is an explanation on the sidebar. Most people are shocked to find out how much is really on the streets if they just look down!)
I love the look of your journal! Wow. I also like to journal, but I tend to do it obsessively for a while, then back off.
I love your journal, too. I have secret fantasies of being able to page through it. mwah ha ha.
numistmatist facts- ah! thanks for filling me in. cool!
AYW- thanks! Yes, I tend to go in cycles too, but am pretty regular in my need to go back to it.
BIV- aacckk! my worst fear: that someone will thumb through them!
:)
...and yet you leave a page of your thoughts up on the internet for the world to see.
i hope there's nothing top secret in those pages.
mfranti- yes, I was a bit nervous about that. I am (mostly) okay with people seeing what is on this page. But it does still does feel a tiny bit like being caught undressed.
(does that make you feel like you've just been flashed? haha!)
I still keep a handwritten journal as well. But it doesn't look nearly as cool as yours :) As irritating as hand written things are to type out (I type out lots of hw stuff at work), I still love writing with a pen. I'm also an ink snob, but that's a different story.
Thanks for sharing with us. And I'm so glad I found you guys too :)
ooohhh, an ink fetish! I'd love to hear more about that! :)
ohmygosh... I'm embarrassed, in my post I said that the date of that page was aug of 2008!!! opps.. I meant 2006!
changing it now
wow. I'm more impressed that you posted an image of your journal than that we made it into it :-p Thank you for that glimpse of your soul. It looks remarkably like mine! (Your journal, not your soul.) Just replace all the Mormon references with Catholic references.
Be well.
xjane--- yay! another obsessive/compulsive journaler! (good to find a kindred soul)
yes, it was a bit, unnerving to show these pages... this one just happens to be one of my more publishable ones, which should give you an idea of the kind of illegible writing, bad grammar, misspellings, not to mention the raw raw private stuff on the rest of the pages. :)
yes, I go back to my old journals, especially the ones I wrote on my mission (two really big books full of testimony and blind faith and conversion stories and etc.) and I find them hard to read...and yet, part of my really misses the girl who seemed to have everything so together, you know? It was just easy, and the church was beautiful, and I KNEW with every fiber of my being that what I was doing with RIGHT and the TRUTH.
to not have any of that, but to have the vision so clearly before me of what I was like when i DID have all that is hard.
d'arcy~ I have not yet had the courage to revisit my mission journals, to go back and try to make peace with the person I was. She sounds a lot like who you were: lots of testimony, blind faith, conversion stories, and faith-promoting tales...
I have been trying to write a post, about making peace with who I was... you may have provided the inspiration I needed. thanks! :)
G--me too. A lot! It's been this weird type of mourning for who I was and it's been one crazy journey of transition...i'm still in the changing mode, but yeah, i've been thinking about posting that too.
i can't wait to read yours.
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