Thursday, November 29, 2007

wearing the apron

(I love the self-portrait challenge...)

This is a compulsion that goes beyond just keeping my clothes clean. I cannot cook or clean without putting on this apron. I can’t do it. If I try I get all tense and agitated. This is also the apron I use in my studio. That was it’s first purpose, to wear it when painting and doing other messy things (hot wax, clay, epoxy, resin, and charcoal just to name a few of those other messy things.) My mom made this apron for me, made it to my specifications with lots of pockets so when I am working on a project there are lots of places to put brushes, pencils, erasers, scissors, matches etc… But currently, this apron is used almost exclusively for housework. Making dinner, cleaning the bathrooms, even just tidying up, I obsessively put it on (I’m wearing it right now to write this post. Weird). Haven’t used it to make any art in a while. So I’ll be doing dishes in the kitchen and a friend will come over: “Oh, are you painting right now?” “Nope, doing dishes.” Ouch. I mean, I the dishes do need to be done… but I really wish I was feeling inspired in the studio instead. Maybe this why I wear this apron, trying to hold on, to remind myself with the paint that is smeared on it… Or maybe I am just weird.

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